


waiting on you

by socorro



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Hanai, Alpha Tajima, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Confessions, Consent Issues, Deepthroating, Developing Relationship, Drinking, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Not Beta Read, Public Sex, Rating May Change, gagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socorro/pseuds/socorro
Summary: in which tajima is the slightest bit infatuated.
Relationships: Hanai Azusa/Tajima Yuuichirou
Comments: 17
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> no one asked for this but here it is

There’s a baby in Hanai’s arm. A cute little cherubic thing with pink cheeks and big black eyes. More adorable than his newest baby nephew, who came out looking squished and sleepy. Hanai holds the baby like he spends a lot of time holding babies, not too precious but secure. 

Tajima can’t stop staring.

He’s, in fact, shocked that he hasn’t been noticed, so strong is his stare. It’s just — as cliche as it is — what they say about an alpha being good with kids is true. And, sure, it’s not really a special or unique thing, knowing how to hold a baby. Tajima’s held plenty of babies too. Most people, he’s sure, have held a baby at some point in their life. Still, it incites something warm and niggling in his chest. A gross ugly worm, burrowing right into the core of his heart. It’s wriggly little body slides across the threshold of his heart and settles, content, into its new home. 

The thing is,Tajima is the baby of his family. Not so much now, he supposes, with so many of his brothers and sisters having kids. But he’s been spoiled and teased and protected his whole life. Something about Hanai’s aura appeals to, like, his entire being. It’s so obvious that he’s a big brother in the way he acts. Surprisingly reliable. Stern, sometimes, and smart too. Then there’s the other side of him, the one that gets flustered and frustrated at the drop of a hat, which somehow appeals to Tajima’s stupid gay brain in equal measure.

The baby looks at home in his arms, completely at peace with the world. From across the way, Hanai smiles and it’s one of the most unguarded expressions he’s seen from the man. Tajima absolutely does not clutch his heart and swoon.

\---

It’s a month later when he finds the opportunity to bring it up.

“So how old is your daughter?”

Hanai chokes on his drink. “My _what_?”

The words shrivel up on Tajima’s lips. He straightens from where he was slouched against the table, enjoying one of the first warm days of spring. “Y-your daughter? Your — is she not your? I mean — who? —”

“She’s my little sister!”

“Oh. _Oh_!” He lets out a huge sigh of relief, meagerly scraping his heart down from where it’d jumped to the ceiling. “That's so cute! So, the twins and her, huh? Wow. How old is she?”

“Almost two,” he says with narrowed eyes.

“Hey! Don’t be mad at me. It’s not completely out there is it?”

“You thought she was _mine_?” He sputters.

“Well yea?” Tajima admits slowly, relaxing back into his seat. “I know people our age who have kids already.”

Hanai makes a face at this, brows pinched. 

“Look,” Tajima continues, waving away the alpha’s troubled expression, “single dad fantasy was hot. But, like, you still know how to change a diaper and take care of a little one so everything that was hot is, um, still — hot…?” His words peter out towards the end, cowed by the alpha’s increasingly intense gaze. His heart, just having settled, alights again like a bristling cat. Hanai stares at him for a long tense moment. Tajima’s just beginning to wonder if he’s shoved his entire foot into his mouth when the alpha hesitantly responds. “Yea?”

“Oh yea,” Tajima hurries, his throat suddenly very dry. “Definitely! For sure. Everyone likes someone that’s good with kids, right?”

Hanai uncrosses his arms, shifts like he’s settling into the conversation. _Open body language_ , Tajima’s brain supplies dumbly. “I’m only good with my sisters,” he grumbles. “Everyone else thinks I’m scary.”

Tajima can feel the confusion writ across his face. Nothing in Hanai reads scary to him, but he’s careful not to say so out loud.

“Don’t you like that?” He says instead. It’s something a lot of alphas take pride in. Being strong, being intimidating. Not bad things to be, in general, but taken too far most of the time. It’s all the posturing and status shit that Tajima can firmly say he’s wholly uninterested in. 

Hanai shrugs, looking a little uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”

Tajima hums and leans his head in his hand. Honestly, he had the man pegged as someone who’d be into that sort of thing. The alpha’s clear pause has Tajima reconsidering. It’s true, he realizes, that outside of certain moments the alpha is pretty level-headed. “Guess that’s one good thing about being small, huh? No one’s intimidated by this,” he waves a hand at himself. For some reason this makes Hanai frown.

“Ah,” Tajima hurries to interject. “I didn’t mean that in any, like, self-deprecating way! Just, like, telling the truth.”

“No, I mean. You’re —” Hanai pauses and gets this constipated look on his face. Tajima blinks, waiting.

“I’m what?” He prompts when Hanai’s quiet for too long.

“You get... intense? Sometimes?” He says finally, his tone strangely careful.

Tajima scoffs loudly. “Me? No way.”

Hanai shifts in his seat, frowning as he plucks the tab of his soda can with a dull metallic ping. His brows dip in a neat little furrow. “Being small isn’t really an issue,” he says slowly.

“Ha! Tell that to people I know.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” he continues, strangely insistent.

Tajima laughs easily, quietly pleased by the alpha’s unexpected concern. “Hanai, I’m fine with it. Really.”

Hanai nods, flushing slightly, looking suddenly embarrassed by the entire conversation. Tajima tries not to stare too hard but thinks he fails miserably.

“God, you’re fucking cute.”

Hanai sputters, going even pinker, and turns with a wide-eyed stare. Tajima slaps a hand over his mouth. A painfully awkward hush befalls them, so quiet that Tajima wonders if the sound of his heart trying to escape his chest can be heard. He furiously, but silently, curses his nonexistent filter. “Um, I did not mean to tell you that yet,” he confesses from behind his fingers. 

“Yet?!” Hanai yelps.

Tajima feels a smile come to his lips despite his own simmering embarrassment. He drops his hand and leans into Hanai’s space, trying to get a closer look. His scent, like fresh playground mulch, woodsy and nostalgic, drifts nearer. This seems to fluster the alpha more. “You, I mean, you’re —”

“What?” Tajima asks.

That constipated look again. “I thought you liked Mihashi.”  
Tajima laughs again, sobering just a little. He wonders when the alpha's had time to come to that conclusion. “Well,” he says carefully. “I like a lot of people. Mihashi is — hmm — we’re just friends.”

Hanai looks like he really wants to ask more about that, but Tajima bulldozes ahead before he can. “I like him, and I like this cute boy in my chemistry class, and I like you.”

“Oh,” Hanai gasps.

Tajima’s not subtle. He’s flirted, he’s teased, and he’s sure Hanai has recognized at least some of those moments for what they were. He’s seen the alpha look at him with a raised brow, or look away with an urgent embarrassment, and, just once, an incongruous little smirk that Tajima couldn’t get out of his head for nearly two weeks and is, still, very confused about. That is to say, Tajima’s not sure what to expect from Hanai. And here, with Hanai still staring at him in shock, he can feel his nerves start to build.

Which is stupid, he thinks. Because if Hanai were to react badly it would’ve happened already. Instantly, in the moment he confessed. Or before, between the little touches and comments of the past few months, if the attention of another alpha was something he really hated.

But habit dictates him. And habit makes his defenses rise. Hanai’s eyes widen further. “Whoa, I’m 100% cool with that. I couldn’t be friends with half of the group if I weren’t.”

Tajima wants to tear that flimsy argument apart. Bigots can easily look you in the face with a smile only to spit vitreous out their ass. He’s had the privilege of witnessing such miracles. But no, Tajima thinks and slowly forces the tension from his limbs. Hanai’s right. Tajima knows he’s not like that. Has proved again and again, even today, that he’s not. Maybe in the past, that much is becoming clear, but not anymore.

“So you don’t mind? Me liking you?” Tajima manages to ask, a small part of him soft and vulnerable, rolling over exposed.

The tips of Hanai’s ears turn red. “Oh, no, it’s — that’s fine, I mean — _oh my god_ \--” 

Tajima smiles, the final bit of tension in him melting away, replaced by an immediate fondness. He watches Hanai’s flustered reaction for a few seconds longer.

“You don’t have to give me your answer now,” he tells Hanai, who looks like he might have an aneurysm from those words.

After this there’s a new energy between them and it’s driving Tajima crazy. A week later, he still hasn’t gotten a real response to his impromptu little confession. It leaves Tajima in torturous, agonizing limbo. Tajima really, really doesn’t want to push him too much, but he notices the way Hanai looks at him more over the next few weeks, like he’s thinking about it, and fuck if that doesn’t grab his attention each and every time.


	2. Chapter 2

“Whoa!”

Someone’s hand wraps around Tajima’s bicep, grip strong enough to make him wince. Better than the spill he was about to take straight into the floor. A bit of his drink has sloshed onto his fingers and he can already feel how sticky they’ll be when they dry. He gets his feet back underneath him and recognizes the woodsy scent the moment he turns around to look up at Hanai. 

“Thanks,” Tajima says automatically. The agony of their strange limbo has fizzled from something thrilling to something of pure frustration. Tajima has never been a patient person, especially over things like this. It’s been a few weeks and outside of a strange tension, things between them have nearly returned to normal. Maybe he should take the alpha’s non-response as a rejection and move on.

His gaze drifts back to where Abe and Mihashi are getting increasingly lewd in the corner. He thinks, not for the first time, that they look good together. Mihashi’s a sweetheart and deserves to be happy, even when part of his happiness is in the form of a droopy-eyed asshole.

“You jealous?”

Tajima frowns. What is that supposed to mean? He takes a sip from his cup. It’s overly sweet and way too strong and no wonder he nearly brained himself on the counter. His alcohol tolerance has always been shit. Music thumps loudly through the air, slowly growing more grating through Tajima’s souring mood. Hanai’s gaze drops down to Tajima, eyes intense in the way he gets when he’s listening very hard. Tajima feels himself standing straighter under the hard gaze.

“Are you jealous?” Tajima retorts, and it really doesn’t make any sense. It’s so confusing, what they’re doing. He wishes for the ease of their earlier conversations. For a moment it’d seemed like things would’ve been easy between them.

Hanai’s brows bunch together. “Of who?”

Tajima sighs. He stares at Hanai, turns back to stare at the couple.

“I think I need to get out of here.” He decides and sets his nearly empty cup on the counter to squeeze his way through the crowd. He climbs up the dimly lit stairs towards the exit. Hanai’s steps are heavy behind him. Tajima whirls around. “Why are you following me?!”

Hanai freezes mid-step. He looks too big in the tiny stairwell, wide shoulders nearly brushing either wall. For once he looks up at Tajima, who’s standing several steps above him. Tajima’s gut twists with a confusing cocktail of emotions.

Hanai shrugs, nearly sheepish. “You’re kind of drunk and sad.”

Tajima frowns, angry suddenly, and stomps across the yard, dead grass crunching under his feet. He yanks his phone from his pocket and clumsily texts Mihashi to make sure he’s okay on his own before tearing away from the noisy party. Hanai follows behind him, wisely not saying another word. He keeps pace easily with Tajima’s angry steps and for several minutes it’s only silence between them. Slowly, Tajima’s irritation mellows. Like always, so quick to fade. Sometimes he wishes he were the type of person to stay angry longer. Feels like he should be allowed this, so tired of the push and pull.

They reach the front of Tajima’s apartment. Hanai looks at him like he’s not sure how to handle what’s happening. Tajima tries for a grin.

“Such a good alpha, escorting me home.” Hanai’s face cycles through a mix of emotions too hard for Tajima to read, until it settles on anger.

“Can you leave gender shit out of this for a single fucking moment?”

Tajima’s stunned for a second, before his own temper to rises again. “You’re the one who seems so bothered by it!”

“I’m trying,” Hanai hisses, eyes burning furiously, fists clenched at his side. A couple wanders by, throwing concerned looks their way as they pass with a wide berth. Hanai’s scent is hot with anger. Tajima turns away, breathing harshly through his nose. His heart pounds furiously in his temple.

“There’s a lot for me to get over,” Hanai growls and Tajima can hear the effort he’s taking to gentle his voice. “It’s not easy.”

And this is news to Tajima. He hadn’t seen this struggle during their first conversation, was looking out for this exact kind of thing and didn’t catch hints of it. Hanai’s given no insight on this. They haven’t talked about it in any significant way.

“Okay,” is all Tajima can think to say. He’s trying. That has to be good, right?

It was nice to be walked home, a stubborn part of him admits. People don’t really do that for him. He glances at Hanai. The angry tilt to his brows etch a neat little furrow between them. His white shirt stretches across his chest, the peaks of his nipples visible through the fabric. His sleeves bunch tight around the muscles in his arms. He’s just big all around, so much bigger than Tajima. Desire pitches hot and tight through him and for once Tajima wishes his horny little brain would give him a fucking break.

“Wanna come up?”

“What,” Hanai asks, thrown. Tajima sucks in a breath as his own words catch up with him. His face stings with embarrassment but he doesn’t take them back, just raises an eyebrow like he meant it.

“No -- I -- no?” Hanai stammers. “You’re drunk. And mad at me?” He says the last one like he’s not sure.

“Then let’s make up.” Both of Hanai’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. His mouth drops open but nothing comes out for a long moment. “You confuse me so much.”

Tajima feels his grin drop to something more muted. He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. Hanai sighs loudly and looks out towards the street. Bitterness rises through Tajima, and thinks he really must be drunk with the way his emotions are flailing so uselessly tonight. He’s just about to give up and turn in for the night when Hanai pivots back to him.

He leans into Tajima’s space, chest bumping against his. Tajima takes a single step back and stops there. A hand comes up to spread on the back of Tajima’s neck and pulls him in. It makes his hackles rise, having fingers gripped around him. It makes anticipation swoop low in his belly. Tajima sucks in a sharp breath and arches up onto his toes to meet Hanai’s lips. He’s expecting something angry, something sharp and searing, something punishing like he deserves. Instead Hanai kisses him deep and aching, as if he’s searching for something precious. The firm grip on his neck is the only thing to keep him grounded as Hanai licks into his mouth with a hot tongue, absolutely devouring him every way possible.

“Fuck you,” Tajima pants, shoving at Hanai’s chest when he finally releases him. Hanai laughs and Tajima can’t fight his incredulous grin. What the hell is happening? “You’re the one who’s confusing!”

“Guess we’re perfect.”

“Ugh,” Tajima groans, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He feels like he might vibrate right out of his skin, “I don’t get it. I’m so confused.”

He looks up at Hanai and wishes he understood what he wanted, where they were going. Wants to be on solid ground. “Kiss me again?”

Hanai does. Tajima swallows back a moan as Hanai’s tongue dips back into his mouth, wonderfully aware that they’re standing where anyone could see. Hanai kisses dirty and it’s so shocking and thrilling and it makes every cell in his body ignite into a hot garbage fire.

“I thought you’d be shy,” Tajima groans against Hanai’s mouth and that, of course, makes him shy. Tajima grips his forearm harshly, hoping to express the depth of his desire through the press of his fingers. “You sure you don’t want to come up? Please?”

He can’t convince Hanai to come all the way up to his apartment but he does entice the alpha into pressing him against the stairwell wall and kissing him until he’s achingly hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me that sweet sweet tajihana. come yell at me at socorro-me.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they finally talk about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note the change in rating

Tajima arrives at the study group the next evening and his gaze locks onto Hanai almost immediately. The alpha doesn’t look up from his book. He’s got his glasses on, hair covered with a beanie pushed low on his head, earphones shoved in his ears. So studious, Tajima thinks.

It’s hard for him to concentrate over the next few hours. He manages by necessity alone, and by the fact that Hanai offers little reaction to the looks Tajima throws his way. As it gets later into the night, the group slowly head home, leaving in twos and threes. Mihashi leaves last, glancing archly between the two. And, okay, fair. Tajima, at least, is not and has never been very subtle throughout this whole thing. Still, he’s surprised his friend picked up on it. Tajima never told him anything which, thinking about it, might’ve been unusual enough for Mihashi to notice.

The omega leaves with a few more keen looks and Hanai stays seated.

Tajima leans back in his chair and watches the other alpha, remembering the way he’d felt plastered against Tajima’s front, body hot and solid. Hanai looks up then, and Tajima feels a little caught out by his gaze.

“You’re not going home?” Hanai asks. Tajima’s gut twists with nerves, the quiet between them feels all too similar to the dance they were doing before. He’s determined not to let it slide back into that.

“Not yet,” Tajima hums. His chair squeaks loudly as he gets up from his seat. The alpha watches him approach, and Tajima stops only when he’s two steps away. He hovers over Hanai, who leans his head back to keep their gazes locked. Tajima’s eyes dip to the way it makes the alpha’s neck stretch, long and exposed. He’d stayed away from there last night, cautious even through the haze of his lust. Hanai seems to realize where his eyes are and drops his attention back to his work, ears going red.

“Hanai.”

The alpha looks up again, frowning just slightly, eyes flicking across Tajima’s face uncertainty. Tajima leans in slowly, watches the way the alpha’s eyes widen, hand squeezing the pen gripped in his fingers. He offers plenty of time for Hanai to pull away but the alpha stays still, lips slightly parted. Tajima’s heart kicks in his chest and he closes the last few inches between them. The kiss is altogether chaste compared to the night before but -- this is nice too. Hanai let’s Tajima control the pace, let’s Tajima tilt them into a better angle, pliant in a way he’s yet to see. He pauses to carefully slide Hanai’s glasses from his face, and leans in for more.

He’s been with some alphas that refused to be soft, that subscribed wholly to the idea that everything has to be about power and challenge. And sure, that’s part of the appeal. It’s an unavoidable aspect of the dynamic. It’s the kind of heat and intensity that ignited them the other night. But Tajima is relieved to know that they can kiss like this too, is a little surprised by it, is thankful to know that he can stand over Hanai and cup his chin between his fingers and not have it be a struggle. Such a small thing is stupidly rare.

They get distracted like this for a long moment, slowly tipping into something closer to what they shared in the dark of the stairwell, pressed together desperately. Hanai dips his tongue into Tajima’s mouth, taking control of the pace to kiss him slow and deep and careful. Tajima moans and grasps at Hanai’s shoulders, feeling the solid heat of him through the soft cotton. Hanai’s hand settles on the back of Tajima’s thigh and right under the curve of his ass to tug him closer. 

“ _God_ ,” Tajima murmurs against Hanai’s mouth. “I love how you kiss me.”

Hanai’s face turns red. His lips are wet and swollen and Tajima finds it hard to look away.

“How do you just _say_ shit like that?”

Tajima shrugs, managing sheepish. “It’s true.”

He runs his hand down Hanai’s bicep and can’t quite read what’s on the alpha’s mind. He leans in again, planting a few more kisses along the edge of the Hanai’s lips, just because he can, because Hanai lets him. 

“I was drunk too,” Hanai mutters eventually. “Last night.”

Tajima pulls away, recognizing the opportunity to talk, to clarify. He kicks dirt over the coals of his desire, banks them as best he can and puts his focus on the conversation. Hanai leans back in his chair, plucks up his pen to spin it once between his fingers before pressing it down against the desk. “That’s why I didn’t…”

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have pushed like that.” Hanai hums in a way that means he probably agrees.

He looks at Hanai closely. “Do you regret it?”

Hanai sighs, the tic tic tic of his pen tapping against wood a dull rhythm. “No.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. Tajima drags a chair from the neighboring desk and falls into it, pulling it close enough for him to bump his knee against the alpha’s leg. Hanai looks at him again, finally, and stops the anxious tap of his pen.

“I know I’m impatient,” Tajima says and is rewarded with a dry huff of laughter that he kindly ignores. “I get it,” he continues. “Don’t let me rush you.”

“I’m not-- I won’t.”

“Okay,” Tajima agrees. “But also, if- if you’re not into this, into _me_ , just- yea. That’s fine too.”

“I’m into you,” Hanai declares slowly, with a steadiness that settles heavy on Tajima’s shoulders, with a clarity he’d craved from the start. It stops Tajima short. It sends excitement crashing through him, soft like waves on a shore but terrifyingly wide at its deepest depths.

“I like you,” Hanai says.

“Oh,” he feels like his breath has been cut off from the source. He lets out a sound that’s nearly a laugh. “That makes me happy, I think.”

Hanai cracks a smile. It’s the first one Tajima’s seen today and he’s cute when he smiles. Handsome. 

“But then, I’m confused. You’ve been so vague and I’ve been frustrated, I still don’t know what you’re thinking.”

He puts a hand on Hanai’s knee. Because Hanai likes him, they like each other. He can touch Hanai like this, and feel him lean his leg into his palm.  
“You said it’s not easy, the other night,” Tajima prompts. “What’d you mean?”

Hanai’s quiet for a long moment. Hesitation obvious in the tone of silence.

“You know I’m the eldest son,” Hanai divulges slowly, “The only son.”

“Okay?” Tajima says, not following.

“My parents divorced during my last year of high school. Our dad still supports us but-- there’s a reason why I’m in the major that I’m in. Why I stopped playing.” He turns away and sighs. “My mom’s never said anything about expectations or- whatever- but it’s still there.”

Everything about that makes Tajima uncomfortable. He supposes he can’t relate. His parents are still together, he’s the youngest and he’s been out since middle school. But it’s- there’s potential for some inner turmoil there and Tajima doesn’t want to be stuck in the crossfires of that.

“I’m not asking you to marry me,” Tajima says. “You can still have kids or whatever when you grow up.”

“I know that,” Hanai responds shortly. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

Tajima backs off. He’s not keen for them to get into another argument so soon after the first. That probably wasn’t the best way to respond anyways. Hanai looks at him, serious now.

“What do you want from this? Do you just want to fuck or- or--”

“Or,” Tajima maintains. “I mean, I do want to fuck you,” he says and watches how Hanai blushes. “But I want to take you on a date after.”

“After?”

“Sorry, before,” he amends.

“I’m- “ he runs a hand over his head. “I like being with someone. I’m not good at casual.”

“I fell for you when I saw you holding your baby sister, Azusa.” And Hanai looks at him wide-eyed. “I’m attracted to you, you’re really attractive, but it’s not just that.”

He knows he can come off as frivolous. He’s good at casual, good at keeping things fun and light. He’s good at commitment too, but for some reason that’s hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around.

“It’s also,” Hanai continues, on a roll now. “It’s literally a physical thing. When I kiss you and touch you. It’s - _ugh_ \- it’s really fucking intense. Makes me fall hard into instinct.”

“Ah,” Tajima says. That, he understands. But it’s the key point, isn’t it? If you’re an alpha with another alpha and you don’t enjoy the natural intensity of the dynamic, or aren’t willing to navigate that and shape it into something productive then-- it won’t work. There’s no way around it. He didn’t think it was such a big deal for Hanai, but maybe that speaks to a control and restraint that Tajima can’t see. It’s a balancing act sometimes, especially for those so new to each other.

“That… it takes practice,” Tajima says, and he can tell it wasn’t the answer Hanai was hoping for.

“You’re doing well,” he adds kindly. “You haven’t gone for my neck or asked me to submit or done some weird roleplay where you called me omega as if me enjoying getting fucked by an alpha changes anything about my gender or is demeaning in any way.”

Hanai’s eyebrows climb high on his forehead. “People do that?”

Tajima shrugs and tries to steer the conversation back on course.

“Point is, it’s a valid concern. And it sucks if you feel like you have to be a certain way because of your mom or your family situation.”

He jostles Hanai’s leg with his knee and says gently, “I can’t do anything about the first thing, but the second, I can help you practice.”

Hanai snorts and some of the tension bleeds from the air.

“It might involve more kissing,” Tajima adds demurely.

“You’re not subtle.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

They need to revisit this topic some day. It’s a lot of new information for Tajima to consider. For now, Tajima climbs into Hanai’s lap, like he wanted to do an hour ago. The chair groans under their combined weight. Up close he can feel how short the alpha’s breath is.

“ _Tajima_.”

“I’ll stop if you want me to,” Tajima says. Hanai’s gaze jerks to the door. “No one’s coming in,” Tajima assures. It’s past ten at this point and the building they’re in has no night classes. The lights in the hallway have been clicked off since Mihashi’s departure, automatic sensors giving no hint of an interruption.

He looks at Hanai, who’s maybe caught between his morals and his desire. An interesting place to be.

“Good?”

“Yea,” Hanai breathes. And god, this is how they should’ve done it. Talked it out, made things clear. Their first kiss was hot, sparks and fire and all of that, but it feels better without the confusion lingering over them, without the haze of alcohol blurring his judgement. The angle forces Hanai to crane his head back to meet Tajima’s lips. He doesn’t seem sensitive about it like he was before, but Tajima stays careful. He really is a good kisser, Tajima notes, melting into the press of lips. 

“You can touch me more,” Tajima says.

He takes both of Hanai’s wrists and guides his hands to his thighs. Hanai squeezes, tight, and runs his palms up to Tajima’s hips, the alpha’s eyes following the trail of his own fingers. Tajima leans back until the edge of the desk digs into his lower back. It puts his growing erection on full display. Hanai sucks in a sharp breath.

“Nice view, huh?”

That gets Tajima the perfect mix of exasperation that he was looking for. Bolstered, Tajima runs a hand over his abs, lifting the fabric enough for the alpha to see. Tajima has always been very good at teasing and Hanai has, so far, given very nice reactions. The alpha’s hands follow his, running over the muscles of his stomach, squeezing at his waist, grazing over his bulge. Tajima hums encouragingly and Hanai’s eyes flick up as he deliberately palms Tajima’s cock. Tajima grins, and pushes his hips into it.

“You feel good,” Tajima hums.

“I should be saying that.”

Tajima huffs out a laugh and sits up to crush their lips together. Hanai opens up for him beautifully, his fingers skim against the back of Tajima’s neck and Tajima shivers, ghosts of tension running through him, just like that first night. Hanai’s grip on him tightens and Tajima feels like a scruffed kitten, chastised and threatened and cared for all at once. It makes him feel small and stupid. His mom used to do this to him. His older sister, when he did something dumb. Hanai’s fingers are pressed against his scent gland. The tightness of the grip tips it into something decidedly sordid. Tajima closes his eyes, back arching, stomach roiling with a sick combination of fight or flight. His body squirms like it’s not sure it wants to wiggle away or press closer.

“Fuck, how do you do that?”

“Huh?” Tajima gasps from ten miles away.

“ _This_? How do you -- get over this feeling?”

“I don’t know. It’s --” he groans when Hanai presses harder against him. He rolls his hips down and his words fall in a messy trickle.

“--It’s different for- for everyone. Some people can let go easily. You can’t, and that’s okay. It’s a challenge and not everyone likes things like this to be challenging but -- oh fuuuck that feels good.”

He ruts down onto Hanai’s lap. He can feel the alpha’s dick where it’s trapped against his pants leg, a hot hard line, impossibly big. Tajima squirms his hand between them, desperate to get his fingers on it, when Hanai yanks it away. Tajima looks up sharply, but Hanai just looks -- uncertain. Overwhelmed, maybe.

Tajima moves to bring their lips together again because that, at least, is familiar to them both at this point. Hanai slowly relaxes as Tajima licks along his bottom lip, biting and kissing until both of their mouths grow sore. Hanai’s hand drifts from his neck to settle at the dip of his spine. Tajima keeps his own hands where they are but continues to grind against the alpha. It’s not the best position. The stupid chair is making stupid sounds beneath them, but it feels so fucking good.

“Take your time,” Tajima breathes against him. Hanai shudders, and nips at Tajima’s aching lips.

“I’ve always wanted someone to fuck me in a classroom,” his brain feels the need to confess.

Hanai chokes out a sound that might be a laugh. “You mean you haven’t yet?”

“Not exactly.”

Hanai’s scent is strong and cloying around him, dirty with arousal. Tajima squeezes his eyes shut, can feel his pleasure arching higher. He reaches for Hanai again, and this time the alpha doesn’t stop him. He unfastens Hanai’s jeans and shoves them down just far enough to pull out his dick.

“Guh,” Tajima says eloquently when he pumps his hand down the shaft for the first time. It’s long and thick, flushed dark and weeping at the tip. His fingers can barely close around the whole thing.

“Mm, that’s beautiful,” Tajima murmurs, pressing a kiss against Hanai’s jaw. “Look at you. Big fat alpha cock. Oh my god.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Hanai hisses, voice gone all high and tight in embarrassment.

“What? You don’t like that?” Tajima laughs. He strips Hanai’s cock at a slow pace, revelling in the pretty picture the sight makes. All hard and leaking because of him. He runs his thumb under the flushed head, watching the bead of precome that squeezes out. Hanai thrusts shallowly into his fist.

“There you go,” Tajima sighs encouragingly. He picks up his pace. “You feel so good, huh?” A small sensible part of him tries to reel himself in, but he finds it so hard not to run his mouth in these moments, doesn’t register half the things spilling from his lips outside of the fact that they make the blush on Hanai’s face bleed darker, makes Hanai’s dick twitch in his hand.

“Is this okay?”

Hanai nods, throat clicking as he swallows. Tajima presses their lips together, thrusts his tongue deep into the alpha’s mouth and swallows the low sound he gets. He fumbles against the button of his own pants, unzips them and pulls his cock out. “Like this?” he asks, pressing his dick against Hanai’s and squeezing. They both groan at the sensation.

“Yes?” he asks.

“Yes, Tajima, just -- hhh” Tajima strokes firmly. Hanai feels so hot and good against him. He spits into his other hand, faintly registers a scrunch in Hanai’s face that quickly evaporates when he begins to pump them with both fists.

“Oh hell yea,” Tajima groans, a pleased rumble building in his chest. He leans their foreheads together. Hanai’s breath puffs warm against Tajima’s face, his eyes locked on Tajima’s hands as he works them over. Tajima bites back a moan, fantasizing about someone walking in on them, seeing what Hanai looks like when he feels good, when he’s got someone’s hands on him. He thinks about their group of friends coming here during their next study session. He thinks about a class full of students sitting here tomorrow morning, someone in this chair where Tajima milked Hanai’s fat cock.

Tajima’s breath stutters in his chest and he cums messily over his fist. Breathless curses fall from his lips and Hanai follows him soon after, going all taut and quiet as he spills over Tajima’s fingers and cock. The feel of his dick twitching against his is gloriously, arrestingly erotic. Tajima whines and takes them into separate hands to work them through the last of it. Hanai comes _a lot_ and it’s really kind of impressive. Tajima’s sure this moment has already been recorded in his mind, ready to play on loop when he gets home.

“Shit,” Tajima pants when he can scrape enough air together for words. “I loved that.”

Hanai’s lips tilt into a smile. They’re a mess, both of Tajima’s hands are covered in their combined spend. There’s a very unfortunate and incriminating stain on the hem of Tajima’s shirt and another on the crotch of his pants.

Hanai pulls out a pack of baby wipes. Because they’re convenient and there’s so many sitting around, Hanai says. Tajima cleans his hands and dick, climbs out of Hanai’s lap with slightly wobbly legs to swipe at his ruined clothes. 

“You’ll make it worse,” Hanai says and, yea, Tajima thinks he might’ve made it worse. Hanai yanks him closer and dabs at the fabric. Tajima’s not convinced he’ll get different results, but lets the alpha do as he pleases. He feels a little dumb from his orgasm. There’s a flush of color on Hanai’s face still, and Tajima wonders if it’ll stay like that for a while.

A series of soft clicks sound in the air. Tajima’s heart practically leaps out of his chest.

“What the fuck,” he hisses and scrambles to straighten his clothes. He turns to the single door just in time to see Mizutani walk through.

“Oh hey... I… forgot my…” his words trail off, eyes widening as his gaze darts back and forth between the two alphas. The smell of sex is unmistakable in the room. Mizutani’s mouth falls open. For once Tajima is just as red as Hanai. The beta turns on his heel and flees without another word.

Tajima looks back at Hanai, who seems to be frozen to his seat.

Tajima bends over and laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me giving a back-to-back update. amazing. follow me at socorro-me.tumblr.com for my oofuri musings


	4. Chapter 4

When he sees them Tajima nearly falls off his bike. The noise of his near death draws the attention of Hanai and his two sisters. Which is unfortunate because it means Hanai misses the ball one of them lets loose right before he’d turned away. 

“Oh my god,” one of his sisters exclaims as it slams into Hanai’s chin.

They both run towards him and hover over his hunched form. Tajima hastily puts his bike in park and skids down the grassy hill. Hanai's hand is cupped against his mouth by the time Tajima makes it onto the field. The alpha winces as he tests his jaw. The girls throw concerned glances at each other and then between Tajima and Hanai. 

“W-what’re you doing here?” Hanai stutters.

“Are you okay,” Tajima says instead and reaches out to check the damage. Hanai lets his own hand slide away as Tajima tilts his head to get a better look.

“I’m fine,” Hanai says and seems more embarrassed than hurt. There’s a frighteningly large bruise forming along his jaw.

One of the twins runs to the dugout. The other laughs at Hanai’s painful groan as he tongues at the new split in his lip. Tajima can’t quite remember how to tell them apart and feels kinda bad about it. He thinks this one is Haruka but he’s not entirely sure. Hanai’s other sister returns with a water bottle. He takes it and swishes his mouth. The water he spits out is tinged red. All four of them make a face.

“You need to ice that, like, asap.”

“It’s fine,” Hanai insists.

“If you’re sure.”

Hanai swishes water a few more times and dabs at the cut on his lip with an alcohol wipe from the first aid.

“Where’s the baby?” Tajima asks.

“She’s at home,” Asuka? says when Hanai just blinks at him. “What’s your name again?”

“Tajima Yuuichirou.”

“We met during family weekend.”

Tajima nods.

“You’re the one that thought Azusa was Eimi’s dad,” she continues. Tajima presses his lips together and just barely holds back his laugh. Hanai probably told his whole family that. Instead of being embarrassed, Tajima feels strangely warm. “Uh, yup. That’s me.”

“Can I join in?”

“You play?”

“Kind of.”

The girls look to their brother. Tajima looks at him too. 

“I’ve never pitched a softball,” he lies.

So Tajima gets an impromptu lesson, laughing through the unfamiliar motions of the windup. It’s been a while since he’s tried this. The ball feels clunky in his hand. He wonders how girls with such small hands deal with it so well. Hanai offers one of his spare gloves and they play catch leisurely, sending grounders and flyballs to the twins to let them practice. They’re good, catching and snapping the ball away with ease. Hanai rarely jumps in with critique but when he does they effortlessly put his advice to use.

“You should ice that.” Tajima says again after the sight of ominous clouds has them packing up a half hour later.

“I will.”

Tajima fetches his bike and they all head to the lot where Hanai’s parked.

“I’d give you a ride but there’s no space for that,” he nods at Tajima’s bike.

“Oh! That’s okay.”

Hanai looks at him. It’s weird seeing him with his sisters. Different from spying the alpha with a baby in his arms, but incites a similar warmth. His gaze dips unashamedly to the alpha’s lips and— Tajima’s never been good at this, at separating these moments in his mind, limiting his fantasies to private spaces— so he suddenly remembers the weight of Hanai’s cock in his palm, the hot press of their mouths, the precious few gasps of sounds that dropped like rewards.

“Easy,” Hanai cautions and Tajima looks up to see the alpha watching him closely. He notices the teasing tilt that forms on Hanai’s lips with a faint shock. Tajima tries to scrub away the open desire that’s probably written across his face. 

“I think my rut’s coming up.” Tajima blurts. Which, _Ok brain, thank you_.

It _is_ true though. Tajima can recognize the signs in his distraction. In the way he’s jerking off a little more than usual already. 

Hanai’s smirk evaporates into open shock. God, they’re such a mess.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tajima can see one of the girls press her face to the passenger side window, staring at the pair of them.

“Well,” Tajima says, taking that as his sign to dip. “I’ll see you later. Be careful.”

He watches Hanai climb into the car and drive away. Tajima cannot drive and his dumb gay brain finds even that hot.

Three days later, Hanai slides down onto his knees in Tajima’s tiny dorm room. Tajima let’s out a sound that isn’t entirely human and the alpha glances up at him, expression trapped between stern and flustered.

“Oh,” Tajima says, and spreads his legs wider to make room. His rut’s not quite here yet, but he’s been horny at unreal levels, has cornered Hanai too many times in the past few days to be pushed up against a wall and kissed breathless. To cup the alpha’s wrist against his nose and inhale, letting the woodsy scent burn him up.

Hanai shuffles a little closer, body radiating warmth where they’re nearly touching. The sight of him lowered to his knees has blood rushing south embarrassingly fast. “This is surprising.”

“What?” Hanai asks, brows furrowed. He puts a hand on Tajima’s thigh and it covers an alarming amount of space. It slides up until his fingers arrive very close to his crotch. Tajima’s next exhale is like a gust of wind in the quiet room. Hanai glances up at him again, shifts his hand to run up the inner seam, brushing over where his cock is trapped in his pants leg. His fingers hover there, generously exploring the shape of him. “Mm,” Tajima hums, feeling his dick twitch underneath the alpha’s touch. “I didn’t think you’d want to do this.”

“I’ve sucked dick before.” Hanai grouses.

“Yea?” Tajima asks, because he wasn’t entirely sure if Hanai’s reluctance was a two-fold thing. But the thought of the alpha doing this for someone else is strangely reassuring, makes him thrum with pleasure and anticipation both. “Like having your mouth full?”

Hanai let’s out a breath that’s just a shadow of a laugh and doesn’t say a word. He tugs on Tajima’s pants and Tajima obediently pushes them down his hips. Hanai’s a little hard to read here, Tajima can’t tell how much of this calm is forced. He tends to get quiet in these moments.

Tajima’s cock rises half hard where it’s nestled under a neat patch of dark curls, tip dark and flushed. Hanai wraps a hand around him, old callouses dragging deliciously. He follows his fist with his mouth, lowering his head to lick hotly up the shaft before slowly taking him into his mouth. Tajima moans low in the throat at the hot wet heat engulfing his dick, at the perfect sight of Hanai taking more of him into his mouth.

“Shit,” Tajima groans. “Will your lip be okay?”

Hanai tongues at the healing cut like he’s forgotten about it. “I think so.”

Hanai lowers his eyes and gets to work, setting a pace so languid that it makes Tajima’s toes curl, heat swelling like a rising tide. Tajima might be in awe, just a little, at the alpha’s ease. He thought he’d have to fight for this, wrestle against Hanai’s stubborn pride and whatever quiet struggle he’s still having with himself. Instead, Hanai breathes steadily through his nose as he swallows Tajima’s cock, his eyes fluttering closed with a little pinch forming between his brows. 

Hanai’s scent is strong and cloying, dirty with arousal. A sure sign that the alpha is enjoying this in earnest. The bob of his head is so beautifully obscene, saliva and precome bubbling around the seal of his lips. The sound of it lewd in the air. Tajima lets out a low pleased sound, rocks his hips up gently into him.

“You _do_ like this, huh, so good at it too. Can I touch you?”

Hanai hums so Tajima brings a hand down to run his fingers against shaved hair. Hanai’s eyes snap up to him and, god, he looks stunning. Tajima feels all the words dry up on his lips before they come flooding back all at once.

“Thought it’d be me on my knees for you. You always surprise me, baby. Fuck your mouth feels _gorgeous_.”

He rolls his hips and it makes Hanai gag.

Tajima fails in biting back a laugh. He pets apologetically at Hanai’s arm where it rests against his hip, pressing down just enough to stop Tajima from moving anymore. “Sorry, sorry.”

Hanai pulls off, lips bruised red, flushed down to his neck. His eyes are blown wide, voice rough as he growls “You don’t have to be so careful.”

“Oh,” Tajima blinks and loses some time staring. He tilts his head, “Did you like that?”

Hanai flushes darker and damn, damn.

“Okay,” Tajima agrees easily, deciding to simply trust in the alpha’s words. He rests his left hand on top of Hanai’s head, presses just enough to get him to lower his head again, noting the catch in breath that gets him. Hanai takes him back into his mouth. He let’s Hanai control the pace but pushes down every now and then to make the alpha stay on his cock just a few seconds longer, growling pleased when this makes Hanai moan deep in his throat. 

Hanai’s free hand drags up Tajima’s thigh, he angles his head and shoves Tajima’s cock so deep it hits the back of his throat. Tajima curses and groans and fucking _trembles_ when he slips into the tight heat of Hanai’s throat.

“Oh god,” he chokes, feeling unfairly blindsided by this new development. He grips Hanai harshly, drops his head back and moans when Hanai swallows him again and again until he gags wetly, pulling off to breath ragged against Tajima’s slick shaft. He licks across Tajima’s purpling head, tonguing the sensitive spot just beneath it. Hanai makes a surprised sound, feeling the knot forming under his fist. He pulls off and Tajima nearly smacks the alpha in the face as he brings a desperate hand down, begging, “don’t stop!”

He doesn’t stop.

He fists Tajima firmly, eyes locked on the way his fingers catch on his growing knot. Tajima can barely stand to meet the alpha’s eyes when he looks up. 

“You feel that good?” Hanai asks, dark and teasing in a way he’s rarely been throughout their whole affair. Hot embarrassment flushes through him as he feels himself swell even more. Tajima rocks his hips into Hanai’s touch and says, without an inch of shame, “ _Yes_ I feel fucking _amazing_ so _please_ —”

Throbbing pleasure engulfs him when Hanai grips his knot with a firm hand, squeezing. Hot damn he’s knotting Hanai’s fist. Hanai’s letting him knot his fist. It’s not as good as being inside someone but it’s enough to make Tajima lightheaded with arousal. Hanai swallows him back down and it only takes a few moments of his tongue working against him to push Tajima over the edge. Tajima can barely find the breath to warn him before he’s coming so hard stars burst beneath his eyes.

He collapses back onto the bed and is sure all his bones have melted from his body. Hanai keeps a firm grip on his knot, which is very nice of him, and the pressure of it has Tajima shaking in pleasure even as his orgasm passes.

Hanai climbs back onto the bed, dipping the mattress until they bump against each other. Tajima opens his eyes blearily and his heart stops when he sees the mess he’s made of Hanai’s face. His come is painted thick across the alpha’s lips and cheek.

“Shit,” he blurts, even as he burns the sight into his memory. “I’m sorry.” The subsequent words die in his throat as Hanai licks his lips, catching the spend on his tongue, nose scrunching cutely. Tajima scrambles to smash their lips together, groaning as he tastes himself there. Hanai pulls away first so Tajima licks at the come sticking tacky on Hanai’s cheek. 

“Don’t,” Hanai groans in disgust and pushes his face away.

Hanai shifts, settling more comfortably on his side. He can feel Hanai’s erection pressed against him. He wriggles his butt against it and hums pleasantly when Hanai cants his hips forward.

“Do you usually knot so easily?” Hanai asks in a voice that’s gloriously shot.

Tajima swallows, an echo of his earlier embarrassment rising. “You don’t?”

“Only when I’m inside someone. Even then, not all the time.”

“Oh,” Tajima says dumbly. He feels like his brain is running at half capacity. Hanai shifts again and Tajima sputters when the movement makes Hanai’s fist jerk. He slams a hand down onto his wrist, not sure if it’s to stop or encourage. Even Hanai seems surprised because he pauses for a long moment.

“Can you come again?”

Tajima nods stiltedly, face burning. Hanai rumbles with a growl that raises goosebumps on his skin.

“Show me.”

“I’m gonna die,” Tajima groans.

Hanai laughs, short and harsh like it came out by surprise. So Tajima obediently takes himself in hand because he’s never one to deny himself more orgasms. He pumps his cock fast and tight, fingers bumping Hanai’s where he’s still holding his knot snugly. He can’t bite back the desperate whines clawing up his throat. Hanai tilts his head until they can kiss again. There’s an edge of dominance to it makes everything feel about a million times better.

“Tighter,” Tajima begs and Hanai squeezes him more firmly and fucks his mouth filthy with his tongue. “Yea, yea, ah... please.”

He comes again, breathlessly. Almost painfully with how strong his pleasure is. He’s rarely pushed two orgasms so close together outside of rut and it’s leaving him winded.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he curses. He’s ascended. He’s passed into the afterworld. He’s a mere shapeless, useless pool on the sheets. Tajima does nothing but try to breathe for the next few minutes. Hanai releases his cock, his knot having finally deflated.

Hanai growls low in his throat, rolls them so that he’s pressing Tajima against the mattress.  
Tajima can hardly gather the strength to push against the alpha, limbs still weak and shaking.

“Careful,” Tajima cautions as he finds himself pinned against the sheets. His heart flutters in his chest, aware now of the slight shift in the alpha’s scent. He puts a hand against Hanai’s hip. 

“Careful, Alpha.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Then how about Azusa?” Tajima laughs at the frown that gets him. “No?”

“Can you stop talking for two seconds?”

“Nope.” A glare this time. Tajima pokes the scrunched space between his brows. Hanai pushes his hand away.

“Be careful.”

Hanai pulls him into another kiss, teeth dragging. His hand is still wrapped loosely around Tajima’s spent cock and Tajima shivers.

“I want to...”

“What,” Tajima asks.

Instead of answering, Hanai cages Tajima’s legs together and pushes his dick in the tight space between his thighs. He moves easily with how slick Tajima is, covered with spit and come. Tajima gasps. Hanai’s dick drags against his balls and shaft and it’s too fucking much, it has Tajima squirming, wildly oversensitive. He moans anyways, can’t help but imagine the alpha taking him like this, pushing his thick cock deep into Tajima’s ass and fucking him open. Tajima fists the sheets hard, hearing a muted snap as one side is pulled from the mattress. He moans Hanai’s name, tries his best to rut back into those punishing thrusts but he’s held still. Fuck him for being so much stronger. He presses his forehead against the bed, grunts as Hanai fucks harder between his legs.

Hanai rubs his dick again and Tajima wants to cry.

“Too much,” Tajima gasps. “Baby, that’s too much.” He grabs the alpha’s wrist when he doesn’t stop, digs his blunt nails until Hanai lets go.

Hanai makes a low sound, buries his head in Tajima’s shoulder and comes. He thrusts a few last times, spreading his seed across his thighs and cock before he stills.

Both of them breath harshly into the air. Hanai’s chest is stuck tacky against Tajima’s back.

“Hanai,” he warns. His teeth are too close, his weight still sandwiching him into the bed. “Hanai. _Azusa_.”

Hanai pushes off and Tajima sucks in a huge breath once the alpha’s weight is off him, nose nearly burning from the smell of sex and pheremones. He lets himself relax into the bed. 

Hanai looks a little bewildered. Tajima stretches lazily, tries to force a calm into his bones. His dick is sore and he can’t ignore the initial surge of panic that overtook him, the sudden weight of Hanai against his back bringing back more than a few bad memories.

“It’s okay,” he says as he starts to feel bad about the guilt building on Hanai’s face. “It’ll happen sometimes.”

“No,” Hanai says. “I shouldn’t have— I’m sorry.”

Tajima laughs and lays a hand on Hanai’s thigh. “It happens,” he says again.

It’s nowhere near the worst encounter he’s had with another alpha but it always comes so unexpected. Always works until it _doesn’t_.

They get cleaned up and Hanai kisses him gentle at the door on his way out, pressing another apology against his skin.

“I know babe,” Tajima says, and feels kinda dumb for letting the pet name slip through. “It’s okay.”

He thinks about it more the next day and wonders if it wasn’t that big of a deal after all. If things had gone even a little differently, Tajima would’ve loved it. He climbs into bed after class and recalls Hanai’s weight on him, remembering the hot slide of his dick between his legs, and palms his cock until he comes.

Tajima feels kind of weird about it. He ignores Hanai a little, which is something Tajima usually wouldn’t do but he feels like he needs to think. The group doesn’t pay them much attention and he thinks that nobody outside of Mihashi and Mizutani has noticed anything different. Tajima distracts himself with classes.

Hanai approaches him eventually.

“We’re doing this now?”

“Yes,” Hanai says seriously and Tajima notes the determined set of his jaw. Tajima sighs but lets Hanai walk him from the library to the empty sitting area wrapped around the outside of the building. They don’t sit, but stand against one of the pillars. Tajima leans his shoulder against it and waits.

Hanai sighs and rubs a nervous hand against his face. “I wanted to apologize again. For the other night.”

“Okay,” Tajima says.

“I’m learning a lot about myself, about how to be with you. I really. Really never want to hurt you more than I already have.” 

He knows that’s all true but a bitter part of Tajima only hears the same excuses.

“Hanai, I know it doesn’t seem like it but I’ve struggled with this too. I get it, it’s a lot. It just --” _Scared me_ , Tajima thinks, but doesn’t dare say out loud. It would push Hanai away, make him too wary to try again. And despite it all, Tajima wants to try again. “It freaked me out a little. I promise I’m fine. I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.” 

“You look like you’re too nervous to touch me.”

Tajima scoffs and shoves a hand against Hanai’s chest. “I’m not.”

Hanai wraps his hand around Tajima’s wrist and holds it there. Warmth bleeds through the alpha into Tajima’s palm. They stand in silence.

“What should I do?” Hanai asks.

“Check yourself. If you feel like anything’s too much, _tell me_. If your instincts are leading somewhere one of us doesn’t want to go then stop and talk to me about it.”

He lets the anger and frustration leak into his voice. “When I say no you have to listen to me. I can’t deal with that. _I can’t_.” He pauses and swallows through a tight throat. “Okay?”

“Yea, yes.” Hanai looks a little heartbroken. “Of course.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Azusa. I trust you. I really like you.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

“Don’t say that,” Tajima bites.

Hanai grows quiet again. He takes Tajima’s hands and pulls him closer. Tajima thinks he’s going for a hug and Tajima’s surprised at how much he aches for it. Instead Hanai draws him near and tilts his head, exposing his neck. It’s such an obvious display that Tajima feels both of his brows raise. His pulse jumps, body reacting naturally to receiving another alpha’s submission.

“No— what?”

He pulls his hands away nervously. Tajima feels a little frozen on the spot.

“We don’t have to do that,” Tajima hurries. He doesn’t really want them to have that sort of dynamic. He’s so far avoided going anywhere near the alpha’s neck and having it offered to him like this is a little boggling. He looks around anxiously but the few people around aren’t paying them any attention.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Hanai breathes and his eyes are down and Tajima wonders if this is another thing they’ll have to talk about.

“Why? You don’t have to beat yourself up about it anymore. I don’t know why you want me to—”

“Please.”

Tajima really, really doesn’t get it. But he brings his teeth to Hanai’s neck. He doesn’t linger or draw it out, just bites harshly right against his scent gland hard enough that it’s sure to bruise. He keeps his teeth there for a moment, growls deeply in his throat and pulls off. Maybe a small part of him is satisfied by the mark left behind.

“There’s your punishment,” Tajima says hurriedly, pressing his thumb against the bite until the alpha winces. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yea,” Hanai says helplessly. Tajima sighs and gentles his grip.

“Okay. Yea. It’s behind us, alright?”

The study group is positively abuzz when Tajima shows up the next day. Hanai looks like he’s been fending off questions for the last hour and is two steps away from snapping. He’s wearing a cute mock neck shirt that’s not exactly working to cover a good section of his bite.

“Oho,” Tajima says, throwing himself into the crowd. “What’s this?”

Tajima walks up to Hanai who stares at him with steadily climbing eyebrows. Mizutani’s staring at them with dawning horror. Tajima hooks a finger in the alpha’s collar and pulls the fabric away, revealing the entire bruise to the room. A faintly terrified hush engulfs the group. Tajima presses his fingers against the mark and Hanai’s face explodes with color.

“That’s hot.”

The next time they have sex it feels like an apology. The bruise has barely faded from the alpha’s neck when Hanai takes him in his mouth again, working him over just as devastatingly as the first time. Tajima comes in Hanai’s mouth, the alpha swallowing him down with a groan. Hanai fists his own cock with his face pressed against Tajima’s thigh. He’s surprised when, on the edge of his orgasm, Hanai begs for his bite again. Tajima’s so stunned that Hanai finishes without him having time to react. After, when Hanai nearly tries to smother himself with a pillow, Tajima asks if it was still a punishment thing. Hanai says no. Then, quietly, says maybe. Tajima’s confused but thinks he might get it a little. He has his own kinks afterall.

“In the same place?” He asks. They’re not having sex, but they made out a little, and Hanai is half hard beneath Tajima. 

“Yea,” Hanai says and looks beyond nervous. There’s been a noticeable shift in Hanai. He still crowds Tajima, likes to press his weight against him and push him a little, but they’re both more aware of when things get too overwhelming.

And then there’s this.

Hanai tilts his neck, exposing the column of his throat. Tajima inhales, as sharply affected as he was the first time. This is exactly what alpha’s always wanted from him and it’s blowing his mind that Hanai asks for it.

Tajima kisses him first, eases his mouth open to lick inside. Kisses across his strong jaw, mouths at the sensitive spot behind the alpha’s ear just to hear him hum. He plants open mouth kisses along his throat, settles his lips firmly over the scent gland and sucks a bruise there. Hanai’s tense below him, whether from stress or anticipation, Tajima can’t be sure.

“Good?” Tajima asks. Hanai nods, eyes squeezed shut.

Tajima’s stunned. He knows from experience that having the same done to him doesn’t feel good, not from an alpha. It makes his gut clench and sends a dizzying rush of fight or flight through him.

He works his teeth into the old bruise and listens to the whoosh of Hanai’s breath. The arms circled around his waist clutch tighter. He pulls back and stares at Hanai’s pinched brows and slack jaw.

“Wow,” he hears himself say.

Tajima’s rut arrives. He spends it alone for the first time in years, neither he nor Hanai confident enough to try it together. Hanai tells him it’s fine if he wants to find a partner for it but Tajima declines. He regrets it almost immediately.

Tajima spends the first day struggling to make himself come after his fourth orgasm. Nearly wants to cry in frustration when he can’t. He keeps Hanai on video call for hours the second night as he fucks himself with several toys. Let’s the alpha see just how well he can take a cock.  
He facetimes Mihashi on the second day. It’s a normal call at first, where Mihashi gasps, perfectly scandalized, when Tajima tells him the entire sordid tale of his developing affair with Hanai.

Then his rut-addled brain can’t stop thinking about the single heat he’d shared with the omega. Soon they both have their hands shoved down their pants. Halfway through Mihashi’s eyes are constantly darting somewhere above the camera and he thinks Abe must be there now. He’s proven right not even a minute later when the beta comes into frame. Just his hand at first, moving to brush fondly through Mihashi’s hair. Tajima yearns for touch like water and watches Mihashi tilt his head up to accept a brief kiss. Tajima thinks, not for the first time, that they look good together.

Abe cuts his gaze to the screen and, okay, damn, those droopy dark eyes are kind of hot? Tajima feels a little caught out and slightly appalled. Mihashi sighs loudly, head still tilted back, ready for any more kisses should they come. Would it be sexy if they made out on camera?

Before Tajima can give that much more thought, Abe says something that Tajima can’t pick up and leaves the frame. Neither of them had removed their hands during the exchange so they continue where they left off. Mihashi comes first, in that pretty, breathy way Tajima remembers and it’s enough to push the alpha over the edge.

Tajima: _i’m sending u a lewd pic_  
Hanai: _Whoa_  
Tajima: _is that okay?_  
Hanai: _As long as it’s not a dick pic. I’m in public_  
Tajima: _oh_

He deletes the picture he had loaded into his next message and scrolls through his gallery for a different one.

Hanai: _This is your dick_.  
Tajima: _it’s covered_

There’s no response for a long time.

Tajima: _wanna see more_  
Tajima: _send me sometjing_  
Hanai: _lol No_  
Tajima: _please_  
Tajima: _how in public are you_  
Hanai: _I’m on the train now_

He calls. “Are your headphones in?”  
They are and Tajima makes the alpha listen as he fists his cock.

In the end, Tajima can’t wait until his rut is fully over to invite Hanai. The worst of it has passed. Tajima’s considerably more clear headed than he’s felt in a while. Still, when he opens his door to let the alpha in, it doesn’t take long for them both to be tearing at each other’s clothes.

“Ugh, your dick is too big,” Tajima groans. “Stupid, fat cock.” Hanai kisses him shut, runs a soothing hand up Tajima’s back and stays blessedly still aside from the way he trembles as Tajima inches down. Even after days of fucking himself open, it’s a lot to take.

“Fuck,” he breathes.

“Okay?” 

Tajima nods, face going hot. It’s exactly what Tajima asked for, but Hanai’s extra caution gives him pause each time.

He works himself slowly, sinking down at an agonizing pace. Even with Hanai’s hot palm jerking him and his lips against his chest, he can’t quite push past the stinging pain. He whines, teeth in his lip, when he decides he’s taken as much as he can. It takes him a long time for him to work up to a slow pace, bouncing on what he’s managed to get inside him. When Hanai pops his knot, he knows he could never take it, huge as it is. He decides he likes Hanai’s hands and mouth a lot more.

“Are you my boyfriend?”

To his credit, Hanai looks only a little blindsided by this question. “Um.”

Tajima yanks Hanai closer. The alpha comes easily, resting his weight partially on top of Tajima and kissing back against Tajima’s insistent lips. His glasses butt against Tajima’s cheek.

“Maybe I can bite you here,” he says, tapping his finger just below the alpha’s mating gland, opposite of where fading teeth marks show.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Hanai scoffs, though his face turns red. Tajima laughs and settles with what he has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha, I’ve had this chapter written for months. That’s it, I hope you all enjoyed! Catch me on tumblr at socorro-me.tumblr.com


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